After reading this article, I wanted to share my own opinion about this topic…You’ve met the perfect girl for you. You’ve been on a few dates but you doubt how in to you she is. She seems to want to have a real relationship with you, but maybe there’s something holding her back. How do you find out without getting stressed and arguing?
Is She Serious?
The specifics of the problem at hand in the relationship don’t really matter. The problem is that she isn’t committing to you. Perhaps she has worries about your personality or still wants to see other people. She could be worried about being tied down and unhappy, feeling trapped perhaps.
The best thing to do is talk to her about it. There’s a chance that talking to her about this will make her break up with you, if she thought she could hide it for your benefit. In addition, if she isn’t sure whether she wants to be in a relationship with you and you talk it through, she might still be unsure and suggest to end the relationship. This isn’t necessarily bad as you can both move on with your lives.It’s a difficult process to go through because if you don’t know this person very well, you can’t be sure how she will react. Talking things through is the best way to reach an understanding of each other and a result. Whether that result is good or bad, it is still a step forward in the right direction. Sitting down and talking about your relationships is difficult no matter what stage you are at. The uncertainty will eat away at the relationships which will give her more cause to doubt she wants to have a relationship with you in the first place!Ask her how she is feeling and share your point of view. Don’t be judgemental or irrational, just calm and collected. Hopefully, she will share her feelings, doubts and thoughts on entering a relationship.
Bear in mind there are many factors or variables in someone’s life that can effect someone’s decision making processes. Perhaps your new date has only just split up with someone else, after having a long relationship. She might be with you for a while because you are fun and interesting, but she doesn’t know whether she wants to commit again to another relationship. Sometimes, people will fool around with each other for a while and then go their separate ways. Try to be empathetic with them, feel their feelings but don’t sympathise. Understanding the position that they are in can help you make decisions on how to make this relationship work.Other factors to think about are those revolving around you. Perhaps you are too serious, too immature or too exciting for your date. A lot of things can contribute to why someone might not want to get in to a proper relationship.Think about how you are and whether or not it could be your fault she isn’t committing yet. Perhaps you don’t have an income source or are not self-dependant and that’s important to your date. Maybe you are controlling, jealous or spending too much time with each other.
Sometimes It Just Won’t Work Out
Unfortunately, more people dating don’t stay with their partners for very long than those who do. You have to be able to mark this relationship as over before it has begun if you have been dating for a while but she doesn’t want to commit. Whilst here might be a really good reason for not committing to a real relationship, there is probably a reason or two why she isn’t dating you exclusively. Don’t fret too much, as this experience could be very helpful in your next relationship.
But When It Does…
If things work out the way you want them to, you’ll have a much stronger relationship to build upon for the future. Couples that go through hardship and make it out the other end are much more likely to do so again in the future and can do so with less pain. Giving each other the support and talking things through makes strong foundations for the rest of your relationship.Most of all though, use your gut feeling about the situation. If your intuition says that you should walk away, you probably should. Intuition has guided humans for thousands of years in decision making, don’t ignore it now.You’ve both got some serious thinking and decision making to do, which could bring to light problems in your relationship. Take a deep breath and start the beginning of a possible journey to a family!Ignoring the problem will only make it seem bigger and bigger than it is. This won’t kill you, just be uncomfortable for a while.