There is a moment in every relationship where the relationship can go one of two ways. Either it heads into the sunset with you both taking it to the next level, or it heads home and you drift apart. It is not necessarily a conscious choice, and the change will not be immediate, but one, or both of you will make the decision at some point about whether this relationship is something just casual, or whether you are going to get serious.
If it is just a casual relationship, then it can continue, but you both have to know that it will inevitably end at some point. If you both are just after a fling, then these type of relationships can be very healthy and a lot of fun. Often called friends with benefits these days, you can get sex on tap, someone to hang out with whenever you want, a simple friend, and a great time all rolled into one, with no strings attached. Unfortunately, it is almost always the case that one of the two wants to take the relationship to the next level. If this is the case, and the other resists, then it can only lead to heartbreak, recrimination, and a loss of friendship in the long run.
On the other hand, if you both want to take the relationship more seriously, then that is the best type of relationship. You can continue to have all of the fun you had in the casual times, but up the ante to be more involved emotionally as well. Like I say, it is only when the two people divide in their wants, that problems ensue.
What Do You Want?
This is the most important question that you have to ask yourself. It can be difficult to know what the other person really wants, and just as difficult to change their mind, but you will know, deep down, what it really is that you want.
For a guy, casual relationships can be very tempting, for all the reasons that I outlined above. You can call someone up, have some fun sex, and then know that they are not going to be calling you the next day, or that you do not have to go and meet their parents at the weekend. Most guys think that the absolute pinnacle of existence would be a constant, overlapping string of casual hookups, a lot of sex with a lot of different women, without all the hassle.
Though having sex on tap might seem great, be honest with yourself and know that, actually, taking things to the next level with one of these girls might be the best thing that you ever do.
What Does She Want?
It may be that the girl you are seeing is happy with keeping things casual with you. If you feel the same then great. But if you feel different then it can be heartbreaking to know that she does not feel the same and at any point she might leave you for someone else. At this point the only thing you can do is to make sure that you show yourself to be serious material, and show to her what a great time the two of you have together. This might not change her mind, but putting yourself in the serious boyfriend position, rather than hook up category is the answer to your problems. Take her pout more, enjoy each other’s non-sexual company more, and show that it doesn’t all have to be physical.
If it is her that wants to take things further, and you that is backing off, then the first thing you should do is be completely open with her. Perhaps she has been thinking that this was something that was going to last, and didn’t see that it was just casual. If you do not see a future together, then tell her so, gently, and perhaps take the decision to end it. She might be after a serious relationship, and with you in her life she may never find the man for her.
Alternatively, think about her offer. Like I say, men like the idea of casual relationships so are often reticent to take things to the next level. But it might be that the girl you are seeing, the one that you enjoy every day with, have great sex with, laugh with, cry with, and cuddle with, really is the woman of your dreams, and the woman of your future.